The following article is something I wrote about five years ago. Try as I might I never could tweak it enough that I was happy enough to release it. However, as Mr Woes once said you shouldn't let perfect be the enemy of good. So with that in mind, despite its shortcomings and to avoid a content drought, I shall give it to you anyway. This was, incidentally, my first encounter with Dr Kaufmann.
Robert Elms is a journalist, author and award-winning radio presenter with a long-running programme on BBC Radio London, once described as a show “that cabbies love and everybody else seems to love to hate.” These “cabbies”, are the target audience for a daytime show which is made by a (perhaps formerly) working-class, white presenter for the few remaining white, working-class Londoners to simultaneously reminisce their experiences in what was a predominantly white environment, whilst complacently celebrating the rising tide of racial and cultural diversity that is expunging them. Robert Elms performs the role of mediator in this process. He speaks to his audience in a familiar, authentic London accent whilst leading them gently to their collective demise.
A steady stream of regular features and guests fuels this audible coping mechanism with audience interaction provided by phone-ins which support the features.
“The Robert Elms show is a celebration of every aspect of this tumultuous city that we share. Three hours a day we revel in the stories and characters, memories and aspirations which make this such a great place to live and work. Art, architecture, history, movies, shopping, drinking and dining all carried out to a soundtrack of music for grown-ups.
The Robert Elms Show is tailor-made for you, dear Londoner”.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p001d7kb
Tune in any day of the week and you will find the same formula on offer, nostalgia alternated with multiracial propaganda, and we are going to listen to a few clips which illustrate the general themes contained within the show.
Stitched together with his usual mix of soul, jazz and assorted ethnic music, in the following clip which starts with a rundown of the ethnic delights on the show, Robert and his white listeners discuss bygone phrases used by white Londoners. “Things change”, says Robert wistfully yet reassuringly to his listeners who have phoned in to talk cheerfully about those funny phrases they heard in their youth and will likely never hear again after this airing given the rapidly declining native population in the capital.
This is followed in the same episode by The 20 Greatest Jewish Films of All Time, a feature coinciding with the Jewish New Year. This is a celebration of Jewish media culture in which Robert, not for the first time or the last, gets to expose his rampant Philo-Semitism. He knows all the lingo and it rolls off his tongue with the greatest of ease. Between him and the fast-talking, stereotypically stammering Jason Solomons, some of the clip is barely audible to the gentile ear.
White people could surely not get away with addressing this subject at all under normal circumstances. This is alluded to by Robert who jokes “we have the 20 greatest Jewish films of all time -I kid you not” as he runs through the features on the show, he knows that without Jewish supervision, this subject would be off limits.
But what makes a film Jewish you ask, as do Robert and film critic Jason. The answer provided is pretty much anything that has been written, acted in or paid for by Jews. But quite why white people would be interested in Jewish Film is somewhat of a mystery. This is political, cultural and racial cuckoldry of the highest order. Jason offers Fiddler on the Roof as number one, a safe choice.
Again, any day of the week you will find the same formula on offer; a mix of nostalgia for the ever-dwindling white population interspersed with a celebration of the relentlessly encroaching ethnic diversity or a Jewish talking point. In another example, which is by no means uncommon, Robert discusses a visit to London by Emile Zola and the Dreyfus Affair with author Michael Rosen, who quips “of course, he (Dreyfus) was guilty, because all Jews are traitors”. Rosen predictably exonerates Dreyfus because of Anti-Semitism or something.
Another episode with which we will end features one Dr Miranda Kaufmann. Kaufmann, who in the absence of information to the contrary, we are to presume is of pure English stock, is invited on to talk about her favourite subject; Black Tudors. What, you didn’t know that Tudor England was awash with persons of colour? Well, you do now. Clearly, this is an attempt, now familiar to some of us, to shoehorn people of non-white extraction into British history. There is a particularly amusing bit in there where Kaufmann claims that it is unusual for a black man to marry a black woman. I suppose given the rates of single parenthood in the black community she may have a point. Of course, that is not the idea she intended to convey. She intended to imply that interracial marriage was commonplace in Tudor England.
Never are we told that Dr Kaufmann might not be as British as your average Smith or Jones, (note how similar her speech patterns are to that of Jason Solomons), or that it is Dr Kaufmann’s life’s work to blackwash our history, as a brief reading of her webpage will testify.
http://www.mirandakaufmann.com/
Why a Red Sea Pedestrian would dedicate herself to Blackwashing our history is of course a complete mystery not to be speculated upon. Black people have always been a part of this country and don’t you dare think otherwise, now listen to the reggae track of the day while we line up something a bit more familiar to reassure you that white people are not really an endangered species in their native habitat. And to that end, we finish with you “dear listener” and your memories of what once you were.
As you hear during this lovely phone-in, Robert’s cabbies, actual ones this time, are invited to phone in and recount tales from within the London Cabman’s Shelters, a rapidly disappearing feature of the London landscape, complete with tales of sausage sarnies and famous visitors. Listen to the accents; you won’t hear them for much longer. This is oral history; the testimony of the last white Londoners.
The purpose and function of the Robert Elms show is to blackwash the distant past whilst reminiscing the past of living memory; to eulogise the present and cheerfully embrace the supposed inevitability of unlimited, mass immigration. Like the Pied Piper of Hamelin Robert leads his audience to extinction. Robert has surrendered, and he expects you to as well.
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